Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Debates

The following are my views, They are also completely correct in every way. If you have any conflicting ideas, in all probability, you are wrong.

I like to debate.
Not debate in the established form, where you stand up on a stage and are given some sleazy topic of discussion where your only choices are "for" and "against" and you are expected to put up a convincing argument without swearing or yelling.

I'm talking about everyday debates that happen in more exciting places and involve lots of arm-flapping, cursing and yelling. Such debates have wavering choices of stance.
You have "for", "against", and "well, maybe". More advanced choices include "well, I just don't want to agree with you", "I'll have what she's having" and "doggy style".

If you haven't realised by now I'm the one who's always up for the debates of the second kind mentioned above. The way to do this is simple. There is reason in everything, everything! And even if it's completely unrelated, the reason is always a debate-aid.
You can use this to your advantage as follows:

Situation: Two guys, a girl, and a pizza place. Both guys are looking for the lady's affections. Or maybe the first guy is not, he might be gay. It's not certain whether he's hitting on the girl or the guy.

All of that is in the background. You are engaged in a spirited debate about "Chow mein is better than Hakka Noodles", your opponent is "for" and you are "well, I just don't want to agree with you". 

Opponent: Chow mein is better than Hakka Noodles.

You: No.

Opponent: They taste better.

You: No. They don't.

Opponent: They do taste better.

You: No. Not to me.

Opponent: More people worldwide prefer chow mein over Hakka noodles.

You: No. Bullshit stat.

[Opponent furiously googles noodles stats while you munch on the chow mein that has mysteriously appeared at the pizza place]

Opponent: All the noodles you've seen portrayed in history, in pictures in paintings of royalty, of decadence, all show rulers eating chow mein. Because they're regal, royal and just better.

You: Fuck you! No.

That debate couldn't last for more than five minutes, and you would emerge, possibly bruised, but victorious nonetheless.

What else did I want to talk about?
Oh yeah, comments. Leave them. Not leave, as in disclude, but leave as in leave behind here. That was bad English.
Post your feedback in the comment form. There.

Pretty please.

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